Understanding Self-Esteem: The Foundation of Worth

Self-esteem often feels conditional—it's based on what you do (your achievements, performance, or external approval). When this foundation is shaky, you're left constantly chasing external validation, perfection, and approval from others. This leaves you vulnerable to shame, anxiety, and burnout.

We view low self-esteem not as a personal deficit, but as a signal that your internal worth has been compromised by past experiences, relational wounds, or systemic biases. The goal is to shift to Self-Worth, which is your inherent, unconditional value that requires no external proof.

The Many Ways Low Self-Worth Appears

People-Pleasing and Boundary Challenges

• The Experience: You struggle to say "no," constantly prioritize the needs of others, and feel immense guilt or anxiety if you assert your own desires. This is driven by a deep fear that your worth is dependent on how useful or agreeable you are to others.

• The Impact: Burnout, resentment, emotional depletion, and a loss of connection to your true needs and identity.

Inner Critic and Perfectionism

• The Experience: You constantly battle a harsh, internalized voice that criticizes your every move, driving you toward perfectionism and chronic shame. The "inner critic" often speaks the language of past caregivers or cultural expectations.

• The Impact: Exhaustion, procrastination (out of fear of failure), and an inability to celebrate your successes because they never feel "good enough."

Identity and Systemic Self-Doubt

• The Experience: Your self-worth is challenged by living in systems that are not affirming of your identity. You may have internalized negative messaging or experienced chronic stress from microaggressions.

• The Impact: Deep feelings of unworthiness, invisibility, or chronic self-doubt, despite external success.

Our Work Together: Building Unconditional Self-Worth

Dismantle the inner critic and establish an unshakeable sense of self-worth. Transition from chasing external approval to trusting and embracing your whole, authentic self.

Perfectionism and People Pleasing Therapy California